Totally Unreliable and Slightly Profane 75th Golden Globes Predictions

image: Sony Pictures Classics

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture — Drama

Timothée Chalamet, Call Me by Your Name

Daniel Day Lewis, Phantom Thread

Tom Hanks, The Post

Gary Oldman, The Darkest Hour

Denzel Washington, Roman J. Israel, Esq.

Winner: Jesus fucking Christ. Denzel. Daniel Day. Tom Hanks. Gary Effing OLDMAN. I mean, I would say it’s the holy pyramid of talent, but there’s FOUR of them. A Quadrangle of Talent doesn’t have the same ring to it. Let’s do process of elimination. Nobody saw Roman J. Israel, Esq, maybe not even the HFPA, so let’s scratch Denzel. Tom Hanks was great, but he was basically nominated because there’ll be a rift in the space-time continuum if he’s in a semi-decent film and doesn’t get nominated. Additionally, he’s being enveloped in the very, very long shadows of Daniel Day Lewis and Gary Oldman, one of whom has “retired” from acting with another strong performance (from what I heard) which could give him the farewell win, and Oldman who boggled the minds of filmgoers and critics everywhere with his utterly transformative portrayal as Winston Churchill in Darkest Hour. If I were going for the showier performance, I’d give it to Oldman. But remember what I said about the HFPA liking to award young, fresh talent? Well, Timothée Chalamet was exactly that in Call Me By Your Name, where he will have you simultaneously clutching your pearls, sighing with longing, and dreaming about your own affair with Armie Hammer. I’m going with a very deserving Chalamet here, but it will most likely be Oldman come Oscar time. And at The Golden Globes. But I’m still going with Chalamet.