5.

Tropic Thunder (2008)

image: DreamWorks Pictures, Paramount Pictures

Even I didn’t see this one coming, but I welcomed Cruise’s decision to play bald, fat, aggressive, rap-loving Hollywood producer Les Grossman in the pee-your-pants-hilarious comedy, Tropic Thunder.  I don’t know if you get more against type than this, unless you’re counting Robert Downey, Jr’s decision to play a white actor playing a black Vietnam vet, which was equally amazing.  What was great about Cruise here is that we almost never get to see him do straight comedy, and his comic timing turned out to be incredibly well-tuned and spot-on.  And for an actor known for his dashing leading man good looks, who usually plays impassioned men fighting for the forces of good, it was a real treat to not only see him attempt this role, but to actually pull it off with flying colors.  Tom Cruise, as well as most of his characters, usually seem totally self-aware of how they are perceived to the world around them, and Les Grossman’s filthy irreverence plus Cruise’s willingness to play a character that scrapes the bottom of the character barrel was something nobody was expecting.  The fact that most viewers enjoyed it is just another feat that Cruise was able to overcome in the face of a public that developed very specific opinions about his religion, his marriages, and his overall persona.

Still not convinced?  Well, to quote Les Grossman: “First take a step back… and literally, FUCK YOUR OWN FACE!”

I’m totally kidding, I would never tell our readers to do that. But you should go rent Tropic Thunder immediately and rewatch Tom Cruise delivering this entire speech and then tell me he’s still not deserving of your undying fandom and love.  That’s all I’m asking.

In closing, I’d like to give honorable mentions to Edge of Tomorrow.  While it’s one of the best sci-fi films I’ve seen in a while, I didn’t put it on the list because it suffers more from being severely underappreciated than it represents a genuine surprise from Tom Cruise.  However, I think that one could make a strong and fair argument for its inclusion.

Okay, folks. Let’s all hope that Tom Cruise can bring us a good old fashioned tale of hot, gray mummies risen from the dead!  Or something.  

This Tom Cruise-loving manifesto will never self-destruct.