Game of Thrones – Season 7, Episode 5: ‘Eastwatch’ Review

After the absolutely batshit bonkers developments of ‘Spoils of War,’ it would be hard for Game of Thrones to top itself in ‘Eastwatch,’ outside of basically having White Walkers eat Jon Snow alive and blowing up Dragonstone with the last of the wildfire from King’s Landing. So while ‘Eastwatch’ seemed relatively tame by comparison, there was still a healthy dose of significant moments to keep our dragon-like appetites satiated. From a Jamie and Tyrion reunion, to Jorah’s return, to the most badass collection of Thrones men heading north of the wall, this was a meaty meal of an episode, even though it lacked the fiery kick that last week’s installation brought. Let’s get to it!

First things first – Jaime and Bronn survive the cliffhanger at the end of the last episode, but I have to say that this was one of the weaker elements of the episode for me. So, let me get his straight. Jaime and Bronn are sinking in the ocean at the end of the last episode after Drogon nearly scorches them to death, sending them flying into the air then the sea. The last we see Jaime, he’s sinking unconscious into the abyss. Cut to, Bronn and Jaime somehow make it to safety down the river, just a little shaken up because you know, DRAGONS. What bothered me so much about this is that it stretches the suspension of disbelief that even Bronn – who made his heroism know during the Battle of Loot Trail (or whatever the hell it’s called) – was able to rescue a heavily-armored, heavy, and unconscious Jaime from drowning. Even the Hound would have a time of that. ADD TO THAT the fact that Dany apparently showed no interest in finding the men that tried to kill her dragon and drive a spear through her, which I find really hard to believe.  If anything, Dany should want to capture Jaime because he’s an incredibly valuable bargaining chip in the war with Cersei, as well as a good way to see where Tyrion’s loyalties lie in light of the fact that she’s lost confidence in his counsel. So what, she sees Jaime Lannister – the brother of her Hand – he falls into the water and just assumes he’s dead?  Perhaps she’s too busy trying to pretend she’s definitely not like Cersei even though she just basically set a whole bunch of Lannister men on fire.

I’m not mad that Jaime and Bronn survived, I’m just mad at how they survived. Okay, there I said it. I’m done.

Unfortunately, that means that Jaime survives to tell Cersei that her army has been decimated by about a million Dothraki and one terrifying fire-breathing dragon, and that Tyrion didn’t kill Joffrey, as proven by Olenna’s confession. Why don’t you just pee in her wine while you’re at it, Jaime? Anyways, things are noticeably more tense between these two incestuous lovers throughout the episode, punctuated by her revealing that she’s expecting their child, and that she knows he betrayed her by meeting with Tyrion, followed by a not-so-subtle threat that he’ll regret it if he ever does it again… I believe this is the first time that Cersei has directly threatened Jaime, and while this should be a HUGE red flag for The Kingslayer, the poor guy is so whipped that he’s probably going to keep on serving her dutifully, especially now that Cersei’s got a little demon in the oven. If he’s smart, he’ll start developing a Plan B post haste in case Cersei decides his services are no longer needed.

Speaking of this meeting between Jaime and Tyrion, it was one of the best reunions in an episode chock-full of them. The last time these two men saw each other was in Season 4, Episode 10, when Jaime helped Tyrion escape from execution. Little did Jaime know, Tyrion would take the opportunity to off their father with a crossbow while he was on the can. Despite knowing full well how abusive Tywin was to Tyrion, Jaime is understandably a little raw that Tyrion would engage in patricide, so the meeting was predictably packed with tension. As Tyrion tries to convince Jaime to an armistice, Jaime can hardly contain his anger. It probably didn’t help that instead of an apology, he got a speech about how he’s going to lose the war and that there’s an army of the dead coming to kill them all. What is this poor guy supposed to do with all the information he got in this episode?!

The other reunions we were treated to were that of Gendry and Davos, as well as Dany and Jorah. First, let’s discuss Gendry and Davos. As you’ll recall, Gendry was brought to Stannis  by Melisandre because he had King’s blood, but Davos set him free in a row boat to go…somewhere that wasn’t Dragonstone. Since then, the internet joked that Gendry had been rowing since around Season 3. Not so much – turns out he just went straight back to Fleabottom to hide in plain sight. I have to say I was ECSTATIC to see Gendry again, and the reintroduction was incredibly satisfying. I’m not sure if Davos went there explicitly to get Gendry or just to check to see if he was there, but as luck would have it, Gendry is itching to leave and happens to be good with a giant axe. I wonder if that will come in handy…The team-up of Robert Baratheon’s son and Ned Stark’s is very symbolic and makes me nostalgic for the chemistry that the two men had when they were alive. We shall see if Gendry will survive for long enough to see that same chemistry materialize between him and Jon.

If we were able to cheer for Gendry’s return, then it was even twice as powerful when Jorah finally returned to a grateful and tearful Dany. You literally have no soul if your heart didn’t melt a little when Jorah returned to Dany, cured of his greyscale. For a second there, it looked as if Dany’s affection for Jorah extended beyond that of platonic love, but I could be reading way too much into it. She’s always had him firmly in the friend zone, and I don’t think that’s changed just because he’s been gone for a while. Besides, it looks like Dany has the hots for a certain King in the North, as shown by her reluctance to let him leave and the longing looks she gave him throughout the episode, especially when Jon manages to hit it off with Drogon. These two are totally going to hit it, it’s just a matter of when. And it’s almost certain to happen before they learn of their common lineage. Hey, it’s only gross if you know you’re related.

In other news, Jon Snow is half Targaryen. Oh, you didn’t know that? Couldn’t you tell from the way he pet Drogon and Drogon was about 2 seconds away from snuggling upon Jon’s lap? Yep. That means he’s half Targaryen and he has fire in his blood. In case you didn’t know. Moving on!

And maybe Jon would have given some information on his legitimate Targaryen heritage had Sam not totally interrupted Gilly when she was reading about the marriage annulment between Rhaegar and who I can only assume was Lyanna Stark. Well, we can only hope that Sam finds out on his own with the stolen scrolls and books from the Citadel as he escaped in the dead of night with Gilly.

Just as Jon has learned that Arya is alive and well in Winterfell, Littlefinger is doing his damndest to drive a wedge through the new bonds forged between the Stark sisters. Arya started off in the episode a bit wary of Sansa’s motives in Jon’s absence, most likely because she lacks all of the context that we have that let us know that Sansa only has the best intentions, despite her history of being an entitled, spoiled brat. Arya doesn’t know just how much Sansa has grown as a woman and as a hardened leader, so when Littlefinger starts planting seemingly incriminating notes in his room for Arya to find, I have a feeling this will work to drive the girls apart, at least temporarily. What sucks about this is that Arya has been reintroduced to us as this incredibly clever, deadly, knowing assassin who is one step ahead of everyone. So, when Littefinger starts doing his Littlefingering, it’s disappointing to see her just fall for it. Hopefully, the deception is short-lived, although it is nice to see Littlefinger have something to do besides just lurking around Winterfell being creepy.

The episode ends with the ragtag, badass mash-up posse of Jon Snow, Gendry, Tormund, Thoros, Beric, The Hound, and Ser Jorah heading north of the wall to capture a wight to bring back to Cersei as proof that an army of the dead is coming for them all. While Tyrion’s ideas tend to be meticulously strategic, this solution seems a bit on-the-nose and I have a feeling Cersei is going to use this to her advantage somehow, especially given she is in desperate fuck-it mode now that her army is gone. Nonetheless, this can’t turn out good for all seven of our sword-wielding band of unlikely brothers, can it? I’m willing to wager that one or two of them -at least – fall in the next episode, especially with the ominous title of ‘Death is the Enemy.’

Or, that could very well refer to Danaerys setting more people on fire. In what seems to be an alarming turn to the dark side, Danaerys has seemed to almost completely abandon her more diplomatic tendencies in exchange for more blunt, direct, and ruthless conquering methods. The most alarmed at the moment are Tyrion – who is currently on Dany’s shit list – and Varys, who made an impassioned speech a few episodes ago about her being the best chance for peace in the realm. He’s so concerned, even HE’s drinking wine. Dany seems like she’s taking a knee in Dragonstone for the moment, and with Cersei immobilized militarily, she can afford to. I’m not sure if the next episode will hold any major new developments for her since most of the action appears to be moving north of the wall with Jon & Co. going to catch themselves a wight to freak Cersei’s shit out enough to make her join forces to fight them in the Great War. Something tells me that’s where the major developments will occur next week, and everyone may have to join Tyrion and Varys in a glass of wine or seven to make it through what’s got to be a thrilling penultimate episode.

Other Thoughts:

• Is anyone the least concerned that Cersei will try to have Bronn killed? I’m concerned.
• As I said, there’s no way all seven men make it back from north of the wall. But who will fall? I think it’s too soon to kill off Gendry and Jorah since they just came back to us. The Hound still has a momentous reunion with Arya and/or The Mountain to get out of the way before he dies. But Beric and Thoros are fair game. Unfortunately, so is Tormund. Though I know there are a lot of devoted Brienne-Tormund ‘shippers out there, I don’t think it’s strong enough a storyline to keep the D.B’s from ripping our hearts out.
• What’s going to become of Sam now that his father and brother are dead? Is he now going to become Lord of wherever he’s from, and if so, is that something that he wants?
• Why didn’t Jon bring Brienne north of the wall? The only thing keeping her occupied is training Pod and being freaked the hell out by Arya’s superior sworsdmanship skills while chillin’ at Winterfell. She also has a Valyrian steel sword which would have come in quite handy.
• The only action I can see happening with Dany is perhaps working with Theon to get Yara back. That may be wishful thinking, though.