Game of Thrones – Season 7, Episode 1: ‘Dragonstone’ Review

I don’t know if you’re like me, but I came into the Game of Thrones Season 7 premiere Dragonstone armed with a bowl of beef stew and a heart full of unbridled anticipation. I had rewatched almost the entire series in advance of the premiere, but nothing prepared me for the utter insanity of the cold open, and the thrilling reintroduction of our favorite plotting Westerosi residents. By the end of it, I felt revitalized and out of breath. And with that, let’s get on with it.

Arya pulls a Cersei

I just keep falling for the whole Arya-wearing-dead-peoples’-faces trick! When the scene opened on Walder Frey talking to a dining hall full of his guard, my mind was off to the races. Was this after dinner with Jaime? Right after the Red Wedding? Was this a flashback? Are we about to learn some kind of invaluable secret that we didn’t know before? But then as Warya (that’s what I’m calling her) begins to talk about how they killed a pregnant woman, and mother of five…We all knew didn’t we? Turns out Arya had poisoned everyone’s wine, thereby offing all of the men that killed Catelyn and Robb. She peels off Walder’s face and very calmly tells the girl to relay a message.

“When people ask you what happened here tell them The North Remembers. Tell them Winter came for House Frey.”

I know I should be incredibly disturbed by watching a young girl commit mass murder a la Cersei Lannister, but I’m not going to lie – I was slow clapping the girl. It really didn’t really tell us anything that new about Arya; we already knew she was a brutal little assassin. If anything, it showed us the lengths to which she’s willing to go to avenge her family. But it should also remind us of a certain Queen on the Iron Throne who just recently blew up her enemies in a giant blast of wildfire. We should not forget these parallels as we move forward.

Cersei doesn’t know what the fuck she’s doing

So, it appears that Jaime still isn’t horrified enough by Cersei’s latest act to leave her side. When they attempt to talk about Tommen, Cersei shows that she is off the reservation; he had betrayed her, you see, so he was an enemy. She no longer has her children to anchor her emotionally, so now it’s just about taking for the sake of taking. Because she’d spent her entire life watching men take things and take her, that now she’s going to take stuff too, dammit, because she’s Queen and she can. Even Jaime doesn’t really see the point of it, but goes along with it because it’s almost as if he doesn’t know how else to exist. He attempts to give her some pretty rational counsel about needing alliances (whoops she killed them all), but she assures Jaime that she learned a thing or two from Tywin before he died.

And apparently Cersei’s idea of a surefire alliance is with Uncle Euron-ary Tract Infection. He has the spirit of a UTI, I’ll tell you, and his wooing tactics were just as painful. Cersei rejects his proposal of marriage with an assist from Jaime, but Uncle Euron wants to prove his worthiness by bringing her an invaluable gift. I know this guy is a complete wanker, but he’s proven rather crafty with getting what he wants. So, this worries me. I almost don’t want to know what the gift is. I have some guesses, but the only thing that would make Cersei happy at this point would be either Tyrion or Daenerys’ heads. Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.

Sansa shows Jon she’s the only one with some sense

In the beginning of the series – even up until Season 3 – if you would have told any Game of Thrones fan that Sansa Stark would be telling Jon Snow what’s what, they wouldn’t have believed you. But here we are. When Sansa suggests that the Karstark and Umber castles be given to families that were loyal to their cause, Jon undercuts her with his fancy “King in the North” job title and says that he’s not going to punish the houses entirely because of a few bad seeds. So, he makes the Karstark and Umber heirs – who are literally children – swear their allegiance to Jon. They seem decent enough. They actually seem relieved that they weren’t exiled or killed. But Sansa is justifiably worried that her big bro is too beholden to that trademark Stark honorability that got their father and brother killed.

After the meeting, you can sense Sansa’s frustration with Jon. That he doesn’t value her opinion. That he’s going to make the same stupid mistakes that Ned and Robb did. (Cue everyone  at home nodding furiously). We should note here that Sansa has definitely become more Cersei-esque, even admitting that she’s learned a great deal from her. Perhaps Sansa can learn how to wield Cersei’s ruthlessness in a more surgical way, and not recklessly the way Cersei herself does. This is Westeros, after all, and there’s always a time to toss honor out the window and do what needs to be done, however unsavory. Too bad Jon so far seems much less willing to make those choices than Sansa at this point.

Sansa also appears to have Littlefinger’s number; I don’t think she’s being completely honest with Brienne when she tells her that she needs to keep him around because they wouldn’t have retaken Winterfell without the Knights of the Vale. My guess is she’s keeping him around because she has a plan to use him if she and Jon find themselves in a pinch. I wouldn’t put it past her to eventually marry him if the stakes were high enough, only to murder him in his sleep. After all, this was the man that handed her over to Ramsey, so everything is probably on the table.

Sam cleans shit, and learns some shit, as well

As HBO treated us to one of the most gratuitous gross-out scenes, even by HBO standards, I carefully put down my beef stew and vowed to eat before the show starts moving forward.

In short, Sam cam across some very valuable information. The first piece came from Archmaester Marwyn (Jim Broadbent), who implied that even if the White Walkers do come, that it’s not the end of the world. Somehow, Winter has come and gone many times, and yet they still remain. It’s pretty cryptic, but I have a feeling this will prove more meaningful in the episodes ahead. Then, Sam steals the keys to a forbidden part of the library, and comes across a book that claims Dragonstone has an epic frak-ton of dragon glass, which is known to kill White Walkers. Sam sends a raven to Jon, and everything will be fine now, right? Get serious. That raven is going to be intercepted by someone who’s going to deliver the message to someone who is totally NOT Jon and then the dragon glass will fall into the worst hands possible. If that raven makes it to Jon with the message, I’ll be shocked. Because Game of Thrones.

The Hound revisits a familiar scene with a different heart

When the Hound came upon the farmhouse of the man he robbed while on the road with Arya, you could already sense that something had changed in him. We’ve actually known this for quite some time, ever since he took up residence with the coolest pacifist in the Seven Kingdoms, Septon Ray (Ian McShane), who met a violent end way too early (especially for Deadwood fans). When he sees the weathered skeletons of the farmer holding the remains of his daughter, you know he feels responsible. He is responsible. It’s an unfamiliar feeling to a man who lived by a code of survival of the fittest. I

At this point, he is traveling with the Brotherhood Without Banners, most notably The Red Priest Thoros and the eternally reanimated Lord Beric. The Hound isn’t really a believer in this Lord of Light business, but when Thoros tells The Hound to stare into the fire, The Hound is freaked the hell out that he’s seeing the same future that Melisandre had seen so many times. A Wall of ice. Where the wall meets the Sea, with a castle. The dead are marching.

The Hound decides to bury the farmer and his daughter.It’s all he can do because the damage is done, and it’s the only kindness that will make any difference now. Did the vision in the fire give him a short burst of spirituality, or will it endure? I’m betting on the latter. Even though I wouldn’t put it past him to crush some skulls along the way.

On a side note, what’s the significance of The Hound being able to see into the fire? Can anyone see into the fire? Can Thoros will someone to see what’s in the fire at his will? Is The Hound endowed with powers from the Lord of Light? It would be nice if they answered at least one of these questions for us.

Daenerys makes Dragonstone her home base

In a very quiet, contemplative scene, Dany finally arrives at Dragonstone with Missandei, Grey Worm, Tyrion, and about half the damn population of Westeros what with all of her alliances now. We get a wondrous glimpse of Dragonstone in the daylight – a view that we were deprived of while Stannis was brooding for what seemed like a season and a half in the same freaking room. Dany walks around the grounds, studying the architecture of her old home, examining the throne. She then finds the very room where Stannis planned his attack on King’s Landing, many of the pieces unmoved since his departure.

As she and Tyrion observe the room, Dany turns to him and says, “Shall we begin?”

Why yes, Dany, you damn well better.

Other Thoughts

• Was anyone else terrified when Arya came upon the Lannister soldiers? Even though Ed Sheeran was with them? In such a rapey show, your mind can’t help but go to that when a young girl comes upon soldiers of any kind in this universe. Thankfully, they were an unusually chill lot who gave her blackberry wine and found her little joke about killing The Queen hilarious.
• Speaking of Ed Sheeran, everyone needs to chill the hell out. He wasn’t nearly as distracting as the poop montage we got in this episode, and I found that offense much more egregious.
• Arya is headed straight for King’s Landing, but Sansa and Jon don’t seem to be. If Dany strikes fast, Arya could find herself in the care of the Mother of Dragons. Or, she could find herself captured by Cersei’s soldiers. Something tells me the ones from the woods could make a reappearance.
• The dark costuming definitely stood out for all characters. Even Dany, who can usually be counted on to wear blue or white, came dressed in a black dress with red scaled detailing along the shoulders. If we’re judging by wardrobe, then all of the characters have definitely embraced the dark side of these proceedings, and what will need to be done to take – or defend – the Iron Throne.
• Ser Jorah’s forearm made an appearance at the Citadel! Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like he’s found the cure, but he still seems to have the ability to speak in complete sentences, so that’s a good thing.